How to describe Puerto Vallarta

Well first of all, we were actually in Nuevo Vallarta, which seems to be a compound of resorts.

But that whole area... HUMID. Nothing dried. It was very much like Florida.

This was a family vacation, where my mom and two of her brothers and all of their respective families converged in a very intense time-share experience. Want a free taxi ride to the hotel? Promise to go to a time-share presentation. Want free breakfast? Go to a presentation. Want a discount on activities? Go to a presentation. Craziness. Need help at the grocery store trying to figure out what hydrocortisone cream is en espanol? The clerk will show you, then launch into a presentation. (by the way, it's "hidrocortisona")

The first night we went to dinner at Laguna. Lagoonside dining. Bad idea. MOSQUITOES!!! Getting multiple bites really was not a good start to a vacation.

The next morning (after the breakfast, the kids were allowed to excuse themselves to freedom while the parents went to the presentation) we checked out the hotel's lazy river, waterslide, wave pool and regular pool. Tried to lounge by the pool, but mosquitoes showed up again. Yikes!

For lunch, we decided to check out downtown Puerto Vallarta. The taxi driver convinced us it would be way more awesome to go to Bucerias. The coastline was amazing. But you couldn't stand still for too long, because throngs of little children selling their wares would surround you. It's kind of sad to see kids spending their summer peddling and not playing. The taxi driver promised flea markets. After seeing them, I immediately thought of the episode of South Park where Kenny was dragged by a bus to Mexico and he reports that there are a lot of trinket stores that all sell the same trinkets. The place we went to eat had authentic Mexican fare and beachside dining. I never realized what fresh salsa and guacamole should actually taste like until this trip. Yum!!!!

Bucerias was so tiny. It was a little unsettling to stick out so much like a sore thumb. Although I guess anywhere in Mexico, our group would obviously look like tourists. Our taxi driver offered to take us on a tour of the "real" Mexico. We declined.

After a very uncomfortable night from day 2 of healing mosquito bites, my mom went out and bought calamine lotion. Can one overdose on that stuff? Applying it was so addicting.

Tuesday was sea lion encounter day! My sister and cousin also did the dolphin encounter. The difference? The sea lion encounter was more comical, whereas the dolphin encounter was more cute.

Wednesday was Outdoor Adventure day, offered by Vallarta Adventures. Oh man, all the activities involved were very un-Ann-like. Riding a mule, zip lining, rappelling down waterfalls, walking across hanging bridges, hiking through streams, all in the jungles of the Sierra Madre. I did what?!?! The guides were awesome. They were funny, bold, good motivators, knowledgeable, etc...

And then it was time to go home. I don't want to go into it, because Michael is currently working on a strongly worded letter to Continental.

It was really weird relinquishing control. I mean, this was the first time in a long time that I wasn't in charge of an itinerary of a trip. I hate not knowing what's going on.

Another aspect of the trip. I know all the folks were just trying to be friendly and make conversation, but it gets really annoying to be asked where you're from, and then the follow up question be no I meant where are you originally from. And after not getting the answer they are looking for, they try to guess my ethnic background. Auggghhh!!!! In case you're wondering, I answer New York, then Ohio, then after they have exhausted all the countries of Asia that they know, I put them out of their misery and say my parents are from Vietnam.

Who am I kidding? This line of questioning happens everywhere, and not just by folks in the Mexican tourism industry.

Why even in NYC, a gigundo city with people from all over the place this stuff happens. New girl at work was trying to make conversation by launching into a tirade about how she hates it when little old Chinese ladies ask her directions in Chinese. This has also happened to me, so I say I just shake my head and they move on to ask someone else. I actually don't mind this, because it's better than being asked straight up if I speak English. Just start speaking to me in whatever language, and if I don't answer it means I don't understand or I'm just choosing to ignore you. And I'm really bad at directions, so it's probably in your best interest to not ask me. Okay, back to the story. She said she knows a little bit of Chinese, but not enough to say directions. She then said to me that my parents must not have taught me enough Chinese either. I answered, they didn't, 'cause I'm not Chinese. Seriously???

Okay, a blog post about my Mexico vacation has digressed into a rant. This is my cue to sign off.

Oh, and it's pretty obvious I left the camera at home. I pack the frickin' charger, but no camera. So no pics. Boo. Maybe I will be tagged on my sister's facebook page if she deems me cool enough to upload any pics of me in her photo album. Ha!

I also forgot to set my fantasy teams. Oy. Oh well. Even fantasy managers have to go on vacation sometimes. It was definitely more fun to see the fam than to worry about my fantasy lineups. Heehee.